Sunday, February 12, 2012
Facebook Parenting for the troubled teen - My Thoughts
This particular video has gone viral overnight! I saw it a few days ago and found it interesting to see the reactions some people have had to it.
I wanted to post my thoughts as well. Since this blog is based on being a single parent lets talk about parenting stuff!
Would I do the same thing?? Yes I would, but probably not in the same way.
Obviously once your kid gets to their teenage years they are going to rebel in one way or another. Much of the time they are selfish and wrapped up in what their parents will not let them do and have, as opposed to realizing what they actually have. Teenagers often do not realize that there are always people out there who have it worse than they do. Kids do not know how to appreciate what they have.
I am going to say that I think she might have been a little spoiled in a way and this is why. First of all, that was a pretty nice laptop. I myself was looking at that particular one when I was shopping for a netbook. Not that I am saying she should not have her own laptop, but who knows what other things like this she may have or at what age she was given it.
Secondly, he says that she needs to be reminded everyday that she needs to do her chores. In my opinion kids should be taught at an early age how to participate in their household and clean up after themselves. They should know at an early age that everyone has a job to do, and it is not always the parents responsibility to clean the house everyday after coming home from a long day at work.
She should not have to be told everyday what she needs to do, she should already know.
When I was a kid, my parents didn't make us clean until we were in our teenage years. And then they went about it all wrong. We took turns doing specific jobs and they would only make me and my older brother do the work. The 2 'babies' didn't have to do anything and obviously my older brother got away all the time without doing anything. This obviously left everything on my shoulders and I rebelled.... a lot.
To this day my younger brother, who is 22, does not hold the type of responsibility that he should have if he would not have been spoiled the way he was as a kid.
If you start you kids early then chores and being able to take responsibility for yourself and things of the like will not be much of a struggle once your child learns to become their own person.
Again, I cant actually say when this girls parents started teaching her responsibility, so who knows. That being said, she may be reflecting on her friends and their responsibilities or lack thereof. She may feel as if she does too much because her friends do nothing or very little and she is jealous.
The biggest thing I see is that this child is obviously crying for attention. To post something like that to all of her friends on facebook and to say that she does everything in the house and that her parents do absolutely nothing I'm sure is an exaggeration. But, truthfully even if it wasn't, so what! If her parents give her a comfortable living why shouldn't she participate in that way?
She is looking for all of her friends to be like "You go! Tell those parents what they need to hear!", "You are so right!" "I cant believe your parents!" Kids often use their parents as a scapegoat to being everything that is wrong in their life. They need to have someone to blame for how they feel at any point in time.
Would I have shot the laptop? No, because that is money gone, especially since he just got finished fixing it. I would have taken it and it would have been mine. She would probably see me walking around the house like 'do duh do duh dooo' using her laptop. It would have been password protected, so even if she wanted to and it was laying around she couldn't even log on. Or I would lock it away or even sell it.
Maybe that is a bit much. haha But truthfully she needs to learn that you reap what you sow. He did show her that and hopefully she does learn that everyone needs to work for the things they have and unless you clean houses for a living you will not be getting paid for cleaning up.
Who the hell gets paid for cleaning up after themselves? Please.
My oldest is 8 and he takes out the trash, washes the dished and keeps his room clean. My baby girl is almost 7 and she sweeps the floor and cleans her room. Sometimes it is a challenge getting her to do things but that is something that you have to work on. The baby is almost 4 and he cleans up his toys when he is done playing. Sometimes we do assembly line dishes, where everyone does their part. I like to set a specific time aside everyday just for cleaning and get everyone in on it. They all love to help do the laundry!
Make it a habit, make them feel included, make them feel like they accomplished something. That way you will not have to force them later on. It will be second nature. Also, I learned not to bribe/reward them for cleaning and other chores, because they will learn only to work if there is a reward in the end. If they get rewarded from the beginning they will then expect it and you will have a really hard time un-teaching this.
He made his point and I do not think he went overboard, I do not think he was too harsh. Everyone has their own way of parenting and you have to give him credit, because this video went viral, I am sure that his daughter will not step out of line again. She may protest and be pissed that she has no laptop, but thats her fault. He stated that he spoke to her about this before and yet she continued. If you let your child continue to get away with things they will never listen to you. Sometimes it takes extreme parenting and tough love to turn things around with your child.
And again, I hope she got the message.
Good luck to him and his wife. :)